


Dark Enough

by Sanders_Sides_Trash



Series: Sanders sides the musical [2]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Depression, Mental Breakdown, Other, Self Harm, Songfic, Suicide, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 00:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20200399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sanders_Sides_Trash/pseuds/Sanders_Sides_Trash
Summary: A smile can hide a lot. Patton would know. (Songfic: Dark Enough)





	Dark Enough

**Author's Note:**

> This is depressing and triggers include self harm, suicide, internalized transphobia, and self deprecating thoughts. Proceed with caution if any of these affect you.

“There is a girl in the front of my class,” 

Penny walked into the room, greeting the teacher. 

“Who I swear I’ve never seen do anything but laugh,” 

Penny's head tilted back, her laugh echoing happily through the room. 

“She’s tall and she’s smart, beautiful and strong,”

Pa- Penny walked confidently through the halls, smiling to everyone. 

“And when someone’s down she tries to fix what is wrong,”

She crouched next to the crying student. Quietly whispering reassurances and rubbing their back. 

“How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure?”

He- she huddled in the corner of her room, crying.

“As to scar her skin with cuts and burns, and still want to hurt more.” 

She gently held the lighter under her wrist, lighting it and wondering why she couldn’t just be normal. 

“How can someone so loving, learn to hate her own guts?”

She held the blade in hi-her hands, tearing up before moving it to her wrist. 

“Drawing a picture on her arms with a blade, as if her mind wasn’t dark enough.” 

H-she slowly dragged it across, watching the blood drip down innocently. 

“There is a boy in the front of my class,”

He quietly walked into the class, ignoring the stares from “his” friends. 

“Who’s eyes are glazed over like newly cut glass.”

Patton sat down, sight blurry from tears, hiding the fact he was slowly breaking. 

“The ghost of a smile hints at his face,”

He slowly smiled. Trying not to cry as his friends came up and greeted “Penny”. 

“And he laughs as they tell him ‘Who’s on first base’”

He chuckles joylessly, hoping no one will notice his lack of participation in the conversation. 

“How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure?”

He sobbed in his bed, trying to be quiet, ace bandages digging into his sides. 

“As to scar his skin with cuts and burns and still want to hurt more.”

He stared at the mirror, criticizing every curve before grabbing the scissors and chopping off his long hair. 

“How does someone so loving, learn to hate his own guts?”

He crumpled, realizing what he’d done.

“Drawing a picture on his arms with a blade as if his mind wasn’t dark enough.”

He slowly turned the scissors on his arm. Hiding from the pain.

There is a boy in the front of my class,”

He walked in, hood up and quietly took his seat. Not noticing the tears running down his face. 

“Who’s so sad that it’s rare to see him smile or laugh.”

He cried silently at his desk, head on his arms. 

“His friends tell him jokes like the one with the guy,”

He stares blankly at them, expressionless. 

“But all he does is close his eyes and enter his mind.”

He slowly turned away and put his head back down. 

“How does someone so perfect, feel so insecure?”

He slowly tied the knot. The ever constant tears running down his face. 

“As to scar his skin with cuts and burns, and still want to hurt more.”

He slowly wrote the note, setting it on the bed, before stepping onto the stool. 

“How can someone so loving, learn to hate his own guts?”

He cried openly, placing the rope around his neck. 

“Drawing a picture on his arms with a blade as if his mind isn’t dark enough.”

He took a deep breath, wiping his face before stepping forwards. 

“For his imperfections.”

“There is a boy in the front of my class,”

The whole school was called to the auditorium by the principal. 

“Who yesterday took the breath that was his last...”

There were shocked gasps and sobs as they heard the news. 

He wrote a few notes:  
“I'm sorry I didn't say,  
But my mind was messed up,  
You couldn't save me anyway...  
And to the boy in the back of the class,  
Who feels the way I did...  
How does someone so perfect,  
Feel so insecure?  
As to scar his skin with cuts and burns  
And still want to hurt more.”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry it’s so dark. I needed to get the thoughts of this happening to me out of my head. Part of it already did, so I’m trying to prevent the rest.


End file.
